The Unnecessary Danger Zone

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This blog has tackled state violence against its people, rape culture, deprivation at the hands of capitalism, and our society’s long, violent history, just to name a few daunting topics. These issues, especially when they hold a mirror to ourselves, are intimidating to read, much less write about. They take a lot out of the author and consumer both, yet they need discussed so many of us out there get to our keyboards and, to the best of our varied abilities to that. It is not the bravery of standing against hostile police at a rally, but it takes a gumption of sorts. So what topic could be so intimidating that one struggles for over an hour on how even to begin to discuss it? The answer, no surprise, is masturbation. Even less of a surprise, once that cat is out of the bag, so to speak, is that it is specifically female masturbation. Continue reading

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Locker Rooms and Little White Lies

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Donald Trump’s sexism is a matter of public record. He has made disparaging, gendered, remarks toward any woman who disagrees with him, no matter how inconsequential the argument. His tirade about Rose O’Donnell is almost a modern myth at this point and his treatment of pageant contestants too creepy and disgusting to be real, and yet it is. So when his “grab them by the pussy” comment became public, followed by his “locker room” apology, I was not the least surprised. Was I nauseated? Yes, but not shocked. Continue reading

Friday Nite Poetry: More Than A Mile

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I don’t mean to pick on the guys who do that whole “Mile in Her Shoes” thing where the boys get out and walk in heels for a mile as a show of solidarity but really, it’s a pretty shallow show of support. I mean, thanks for the effort and all, but really, all we want is for you to think a little. Oh, and talk, with each other, a lot, about this kind of stuff. Of course the second poem could be for both men and women who are child free by choice, but that shit comes down more on the ladies than men. Continue reading

My Dirty Little Secret (possibly NSFW, def NSFK)

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You have read my outrage about being stereotyped by the cops. Bar hopping in my favorite Rochester neighborhood, in a skirt down to my ankles, and the po po see the Adam’s Apple and assume I must be hooking. It is true, this happens, and it is true that I am infuriated by the assumption because it is one that is made constantly about trans woman. What I have not mentioned, however, is the other source of my outrage. I am also upset about this because so fricking what if I am a prostitute? I am not, but I, and all the women and men out there that are either considering it or living it, should be allowed to be without worrying that we are going to end up with a criminal record for it, or blackmailed into “favors” by corrupt cops. Frankly the only two important reasons I have avoided sex work are a stubborn need to fight the stereotype and the fact that the people trying to protect me from it scare the shit out of me. Continue reading

Some Of Us Can Never Put Down Our Blinds

We all have a public life. Maybe not as public as celebrities, but we go out, be seen, interact with others, and just put our selves in the public eye to some degree. Then we go home and if we want we can put down our blinds and have our time. Most of us can even do that outside our home, being left more or less alone as we eat in restaurants, go to the movies, and shop without being bothered by strangers. Some folks, such as actors or politicians, may have a harder time of it, but we are all assumed to have some reasonable expectation of privacy. Unless of course you have been in a porn film. Continue reading

Guilty Pleasure (and Privilege)

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Some may have read yesterday’s post and quite understandably thought it was the result of White Guilt. You may have seen it and maybe if you are a white person who is in denial about privilege you may think I hate my fellow white people and being white. Nothing, could be further from the truth. I am not proud to be white. Being proud of being white would be like being proud to afford a Jag when you inherited thirty million from your daddy. What exactly did you accomplish there? No, I am not proud, but nor am I ashamed. Continue reading

ODing on Testosterone

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I promised at the beginning to the season that I would not turn HoA into a football blog. I am keeping that promise, at last today. I am not talking about records, or stats, or my love of the mighty Tennessee Titans. I am going to discuss a cultural problem that unfortunately rears its ugly head in the world of gridiron glory more than in most other places, and has done so very recently in the NFL. The problem is bullying, and it has come to light that it goes on between team mates even in the locker rooms of men who have reached the pinnacle of that sport, as demonstrated in the brouhaha between Miami players Jonathan Martin and Richie Incognito. Continue reading