New Poem: I Don’t Know For Sure

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This has been bopping in my head for two days. Not the words, the tune. I can hear it in my head. If I could play an instrument, and didn’t have a stupid boy voice, I would record this.

I Don’t Know For Sure

I always was the girl
to stay up past my bed time
I always was the girl
with problems with the rules
I always was the girl
who knew that she knew best
correcting every faux pas
seeing all the world as fools

I always was the girl
looking in a cloudy mirror
I always was the girl
who saw herself as weak
I always was the girl
who questioned common knowledge
insisting I knew well
just what we’d give the meek

Well I don’t know for sure
if I was ever pure
I guess it doesn’t matter
so long as I find out
that depression has a cure

I always was the girl
who wasn’t sure that she was
I always was the girl
waiting to be herself
I always was the girl
hiding under thick paint
of what I’m supposed to be
to put up on the shelf

I always was the girl
who took herself too serious
I always was the girl
who took it all to heart
I always was the girl
who doubted happy endings
just because she didn’t know
where they’re supposed to start

Well I don’t know for sure
if I was ever pure
I guess it doesn’t matter
so long as I find out
that depression has a cure

I always was the girl
who thought she could do better
I always was the girl
who thought it wasn’t true
I always was the girl
who was waiting for someone
and just kept waiting
when that someone wasn’t you.

I always was the girl
who knew she’d make a difference
I always was the girl
who thought she’d save the world
I always was the girl
who believed in a tomorrow
where we could find ourselves
even as it all unfurled

Well I don’t know for sure
if I was ever pure
I guess it doesn’t matter
just so long as I find out
that depression has a cure.

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