New Poem: This


I am about at my wit’s end.


I hate you
but I hate myself more
for hating you
for holding on
and holding back
dragged by the weights
you put around my neck
bruised by the beatings
you left me unarmored for

No more hope
dried up
and blown away
on too many lost chances
some given
more taken
watching others ride the breeze
while I weather the storm
left in the cold
by charity
left in the dark
by illumination

Not even allowed the dignity
to be a silent barrier
a faceless
protector of the weak
all I ever wanted
to be part of the solution
but the solution was full up
on losers

No asking for a glimmer
because that just means more hurt
when it is snatched away
how much more is lost
when you see how much you could have gained
better to not aspire
to dream
to believe
I am anything more than a robot made of meat
serving up for my betters
what I cannot have for myself
better to accept
than to be skewered once again


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