New Poem: Lost in the Noise

I have been having a rough time of it lately. I have had some good stuff happen, but I have also had some messed up things happen the last nine months. Alone it would not be so bad, I would cope, but the nasty icing on the cake has been being forced back into the closet, at least partially. Being constantly misgendered  is starting to take its toll. I am honestly not sure how much more I can take. Maybe just getting it off my chest will help.

Torrential

It starts with a drop:
Him.

Then a few more:
Him.
Him.
Him.

Before long  it is a downpour.
One after another after another:
him, him, him, him, him.

The storm quickens,
drowning out the rest of the world:
him, him, him, him
him, him, him, him, him.

A deluge,
it wears the walls of my being
stripping me bare:
himhimhimhimhimhimhimhimhim.

Soaked and shivering,
my will to go on draining:
himhimhimhimhimhimhim.

So loud I can no longer think.
So long I believe it will never end.
Before long I am in over my head,
sunk in the depths
of the community’s perceptions of me.

I want shelter.
I need air.
I need to never hear
another drop.
I need to never hear
“him.”

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