This is how it is for me. I will not claim it is anyone else’s experience. There are many neuroatypical people who absolutely need this medication or that to give themselves the control they need, so please, never point at me and say “she does it.” Likewise don’t do it for the people who are unable to use medication and tell them “she manages.” Because for starters, I just barely do and it is a fight, every day, and because none of us is the same. Anyhow, here ya go…
So Much and Never Enough
Fits and starts,
that’s how it goes
with a brain that never quite
It is ten o’clock on a Monday night
and of course there’s no football,
it being spring and all,
to focus me.
So my thoughts bounce around
like one of those little rubber balls
and just that little metaphor is distracting enough.
No I get more.
More stimuli to keep me off track,
but I would not have it any other way.
Let your television blast on full volume,
rev up your engine,
the clock can tick,
the cat can whine,
and even the whir of this computer’s fan
is calling to me to pay attention to it.
It is all OK.
I have learned to manage
all on my own
without a single milligram of any drug,
and I know just how lucky I am for it.
It is a symphony
inside a book,
surrounded by sculpture,
this mind constantly grabbing whatever it notices,
and I am never
for one moment