Poetry Month Celebration Day 2: Lifetime on the Pine

Poetry has helped me get through some of my bleakest times in life. It has helped me deal with crisis and it has helped me through the heartbreaking routines I seem to be unable to avoid. So poetry is great for that if nothing else.
But it is great for other things, so many other things, so on that note, I suggest you check out Poetry.org, right after reading today’s offering.

Lifetime on the Pine
I remember sitting on the sidelines
I remember waiting for someone
to put me in
I remember watching everyone else play
with jealous eyes
and pain in my heart

And I remember
being told
just play
that I was the one keeping myself out
that it was my own fault
not having the confidence
and so of course I never got picked

And I remember thinking
I am confident
I know I am worthy
I know I am good enough
I know I am witty
and sweet
and kind
and even stronger than I show

And I remember it well
the bitterness I swallow down
by the endless stream of advice
by people picked every time
without even trying
by people not stuck on the bench
wondering

And I remember thinking
this time is it
and being wrong
again and again
and thinking a smile
was more than a smile
and reading hints
in simple kindness

And I remember thinking
I am just not going to the game any more
I won’t watch
I won’t even want to play
because I know I won’t get picked

And I remember calling myself out
for my delusions
all of them
the lies told to make myself happy about it
and the hopes built from thin air

I remember it like it was yesterday
because it was

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