Getting a Handle On The Problem

Porn Again

Porn Again (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


OK, so, just the Friday Nite Poetry between serious posts right now, but this one is not as angry as yesterday. In fact I am not angry at all, just a little frustrated. I am even going to have a little fun with this one (the pun in the title will be apparent in a moment.) I have written of late, in a very personal post on Thursday and in piece of  flash fiction, about porn. It is, ahem, a sticky subject that not everyone is comfortable talking about.

Some people are talking about it though. They are talking about it after reading this article. The people who pointed it out to me wanted everyone to see it so we would agree with them that porn should be banned. The thing is, it does nothing to support that assertion at all. Leaving out that the main thrust (really gotta stop doing that) of the article seems to be more that young people spend too much time on the internet in general (and boy-howdy, I’m gonna drop kick that one latter, let me tell you) it cites one young man who says porn “ruined love” for him.

Well, I have anecdotal evidence of my own. I know at least half a dozen couples that one or the other enjoys porn and they have a healthy, honest, loving relation ship. At least one of those couples enjoy porn together at times. Not that my experiences and acquaintances should be taken as gospel. That is what peer review study is for, something not mentioned at all by this article, and seldom by anti-porn crusaders because no study ever says porn itself is bad, just society’s relationship with it.

The key to any relationship, of course, is dialogue. Something we sorely lack on this issue. I have written in the past about this.  I will reiterate that I know there are problems with how we treat porn and, while it is less so now, how it is sometimes produced.  We need to push hard (sorry) to change those problems. That does not mean a ban though. It means engaging the industry seriously (hey porn peeps, you know I love ya, but a .xxx domain would help everyone, you included.) It means talking to your kids about it, and not just in a “you’ll go blind” sort of way, barring them outright, but explaining that hey, you’re not mature enough to put it in to context yet, and that context is it is just a fantasy.

To do away with it entirely with one, strong stroke (seriously I gotta knock this off) is lazy and more than a little arrogant. It is forcing your view of morality on people even when it has no effect on anyone save those who want to be effected by it.  It may not be anywhere near as bad as the people who want to force my queer brothers, sisters, and I back into the closet, but it has the same roots and leaves a bad taste in my mouth (OK, last one, honest.) The subject, our society, and yes our kids, deserve we treat this with greater candor and openness than we have.  Otherwise we just create another generation too afraid to be honest about who and what they are, and a dishonest community is a dysfunctional one.



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