Remembering To Want

Coffee Shop

Coffee Shop (Photo credit: dailylifeofmojo)

It is unpleasantly warm in the little coffee shop, still Rebecca remains in a good, but nervous, mood. She wears a nice, loose, tan sweater with her favorite long, black skirt and boots. It is important to look presentable, but she is conscious of the need to not overdo it. It has been so long since she has done this and is a little afraid, but not too much, of screwing it up.

Ten years, that was the last time she was on a date. It had never been easy for her. Rebecca never thought she was as pretty as her friends, as much as they may have claimed otherwise. Besides, she was always had her studies, and then work, to worry about. Once she was on her own for a bit it never really made sense to put herself out there. She was content with her little house in the burbs and her vacations. She liked going to the shows she wanted to on her own terms. There was never a need to check what the other person wanted to do. It was not that she never had urges, but they just were not important to her.

Now in her mid thirties all of her friends’ kids are entering middle school. They regale her with lives full of recitals and track meets. Their joy is apparent and it makes her feel like she his missing out. So she figured it was time to get back up on that horse. That is why she is waiting, trying to forget how much she is sweating, overdressed as she is for the warm cafe.

The guy arrives right on time and he is handsome enough and polite and Rebecca tries to pay attention because he is interesting. Her thoughts, however, wander to that next vacation, the addition she wants to put on the house, and to that book she never wrote. She has all these hopes and dreams that have nothing to do with other people’s lives.

She smiles politely at this man, his name is Paul, and decides they can just have some fun. It is OK to live life how you decide. She does not need someone else to complete her, not when there is so much more she wants, and she plans on going after it all.



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