Neither Or

Afton Village - Joe's Sports Bar & Grill

Afton Village – Joe’s Sports Bar & Grill (Photo credit: Afton Village)

Jan waits for her friends at the loud new pub with all the TV screens. There is little in the way of lighting but the flat screen, HD televisions keep the room fairly bright. She sips away at her rum and coke and eats pistachios, enjoying the few moments to herself that her office-less job and child free life allow her. She politely turns away the attention of younger men attempting to win the cougar over. It is flattering, in a way, she supposes but it gets oh so tiresome after a while.

“You just have to meet the right guy.” family tells her. Some insist that maybe it is just the right woman, which perfectly cool with them of course. Jan always just shrugs her shoulders. She does not want that, any of it. She is happy on her own and really does not feel the need for physical contact. Learning to grin and bear it as everyone suggests she just is not doing it right, or should see a doctor is a chore this happily single woman has turned into an automatic response. Apparently there is something wrong with being happy on your own, and with not needing the touch of another.

She has heard in the last few months that there are others like her, and that some of the queer community has embraced asexuals as part of their community. Being a cause, however, is not her thing. “Why can’t I be me,” she asks more often “without anyone turning it into some kind of big deal?”  All Jan wants is to earn her keep, make enough for her townhouse and car, and enjoy whatever else the world has to offer: camping, arts, sports, and everything else that is not having a family or sex. What is so weird about that?

Her friends arrive after a little longer and have brought a new member of the group. The pretty femme smiles at her and Jan suppresses the urge to roll her eyes. Another set up, and another let down for the others. She wishes they would just stop. She wishes it could be no big deal.


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