One Step, Then The Other


Sidewalk (Photo credit: chnswam)


Dylan watches her as she sleeps. She looks so peaceful and he wishes he could capture that peace for her forever. Lying on her side she seems vulnerable but strong at the same time and he does not know what to make of his or her feelings. It is the end of their high school “career” and no one thought they would last this long, and no one expects them to last much longer. He wonders if Jen agrees with them.

This was their first time. They waited as long as they could bear. Each wanted it for so long, but they wanted it to be perfect. Prom did not seem right. After graduation seemed too far away, at two weeks. So they decided to make a special date night, driving to his dad’s cottage after dinner and a movie. It was awkward, exhilarating, a little frightening, and a lot quicker than he would have thought. He tried not to call attention, and Jen seemed to enjoy herself, but how could he know? When they were done he leaned in and told her he loved her and she just said “oh.”

“Oh,” as if he had set them on a track she was not sure she wanted to be on. Like a kid who was told to do a chore that they did not hate, but really did not want to do. Dylan had no idea what to make of that. Did she want to break up? Were they ever really in love? Maybe she just wanted a clean break, what with their schools being an eight-hour drive apart. It kind of made sense, but he desperately wanted to make it otherwise.

Sitting in the dark room, watching the moonlight dance over her, he is not sure he can let go. She has been the only woman he ever loved, though everyone tells him there is a big world full of people to meet. She shifts restlessly to her back and he grins as he pulls her hair out of her mouth. He kisses her on her forehead gently and buries his face into her shoulder. Maybe this is it, but if it is, he is going to let himself enjoy it, basking in her glow, as long as he can.




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