The rain patters softly on the sidewalk as Hunter crosses the park on her way home. She likes walking in the rain, it cleans the world, and she has always enjoyed the smell of wet grass. There is something comforting about it. Not that Hunter needs comfort right now, at least, she does not think so. If she thinks about it for a moment, she realizes she does not know exactly what she thinks.
Jake said he loved her, and she has no reason not to believe him. He is a sweet boy. He’s always so polite, to her and her mom. He helps them with keeping up the house while Hunter’s dad is in Afghanistan. He listens for hours when she tells him how much she misses her daddy. He is perfectly happy, most of the time, to just cuddle. This afternoon was different though. This afternoon they did “it.”
She is not that kind of girl, whatever kind of girl that is. Jake is the only boy she has ever kissed, and only the second one she ever held hands with. Somehow, Hunter has convinced herself that makes it different, better somehow. Others may think differently, but this is how she feels, she thinks. It is just that Jake seemed in such a hurry for her to leave when they were done. He said he forgot about his social studies project and needed time alone to concentrate on it. He would not lie to her. Somehow, for some reason, Hunter is not sure it matters one way or the other. She is unsure whether to be happy, sad, scared, or even indifferent. She feels guilty that she liked it, even though her and her mother have always been open about that kind of thing. A smart girl, Hunter wonders how these doubts have crept into her head.
The rain eases, leaving her with the soothing scent of the grass. Hunter sees her house in the distance, her mom waiting on the porch. In the next few minutes she will decide whether or not to tell her mom. For better or worse she has passed a marker in the road of her life, and though she still does not know how to feel, she does know she cannot go back.