I have never really felt the pull of faith. I have felt the need to belong to something. On occasion I am willing to invest trust and emotional energy in people and ideas I find worth it, but to throw myself blindly into that trust, with nothing backing it up, that just isn’t me. Maybe that’s you, and it’s OK, so long as you don’t expect others to live as you do.
With all that said I cannot quite wrap my head around not questioning your beliefs. Leaving aside my own, tested, belief that “the life unexamined is one not worth living” it seems obvious to me that if you challenge your ideas, and they hold up, they are more worth holding on to.
Also wouldn’t you want to check to see if maybe you are wrong. It happens. I have been wrong about plenty of things in my life, some big, some small. I spent much of my youth as an unflinching atheist, until I realized that the non-existence of the divine was just as unprovable as its existence. I tested my ideas, they proved unworkable, so I adjusted them accordingly. That isn’t weakness, that’s wisdom.
I know many people of faith that test and question the nature of their belief. They still choose to believe in the existence of God despite the lack of evidence, but they look at the tenets of their religion critically. They ask where their laws and morals conflict. They wonder which of the tales of from their holy books are fiction and which are fables, meant to guide but not to be taken literally. Faith and reason are not mutually exclusive.
This should be obvious, and it should not require a Masters in Divinity or a degree in Philosophy (or as I lovingly refer to my education, a BS in BS.) We all have in our cognitive tool chest the capability to discover truth. So many in our culture, though, seem to want to be spoon fed some sort of “truthish” idealism. Give me something to believe in, don’t make me think about it, and it’s perfectly OK if others get hurt in the process.
Hey, I’m not saying the conclusions you are having handed to you are ultimately wrong, even if the evidence does point that way as far as I can see. Maybe we will make that journey of discovery and find you were right all along, but don’t you want to make sure first? Don’t you really want to know?