Friday Nite Poetry: A New Project in the Works

 

Luna, Venus, Júpiter

Luna, Venus, Júpiter (Photo credit: pablodf)

 

So I have assigned myself a new poetry project. I want to write as many poems as I can combining my love of math and astronomy with the trans* experience. The poems I am offering tonight are part of that project (though Auspices Not Mine is closer to astrology and paganism than astronomy, but whatever.)  Hopefully I will also be picking up my Sixteen Slices of Pi project soon as well.

 

Schrodinger, Freud, and Us

 

I am the sum
of all the parts you see
my self warped and wrapped
around your expectations

 

how can I live up to them
or wallow in them
with the hurtful knowledge
that I have no say in who I am

 

you make up your mind
or do not
turning and twisting
the mirror of your assumptions

 

I am not woman enough
I am too clever
I am too strange
a nerd
a rebel
a freak
I am whatever you need of me
leaving so little room for decision
and all the time in the world to spin

 

My Lagrange Point

 

Finding that perfect spot
traveling with my ideas
and in orbit with others’
creating that balance
between push and pull

 

I dance through notions
of him and her
he and she
man and woman
and I know where I want to stop
where I should stop
where I will stop

 

There is a place
where I can be close
nearer to my sense of self
than to your sense of me
without falling away from either
my Lagrange point
delicate and precarious
and wholly mine

 

Auspices Not Mine

 

Sister Luna
I can never walk with you
through the bloody path
you lead others on
though I urgently wish I could
to share in all the terror and joy

 

Mother Luna
I can never be your child
nor bear one of my own
growing full with pain and pride
until you visit nine times
and present the gift of burden

 

Grandmother Luna
I can never sit beside you
a knowing smile upon your face
as you watch generations of daughters
grow and learn and lead
still won’t you adopt me as your own

 

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