So it is official, I got the job with NYPIRG. Starting Monday I will be hitting the streets and educating people on the dangers of fracking, as well as trying to raise funds for my employers so we can fight this very real threat to our environment. It feels nice. I have spent so long working in situations that made me feel bad about myself and now I get to work at making the world a better place. It will also feel good to be working again, it has been three weeks and I was starting to get worried.
Life is like that though. It has highs and lows and sometimes one comes right after another. For people like me (trans* folk) the lows can be a little more daunting and the climb up out of them often seems impossible. When I have a job I work much harder than everyone else, for fear of what it means to be jobless again, because getting a job in my situation is harder. I could go back into the closet, I suppose, with all the gut wrenching self-loathing that entails, but no, I would not survive there for very long.
But enough meditating on my dark past. I really think this new job, and this blog, are the turn around point for me. I think life has finally thrown me a bone, and the opportunity to show off my skills (I really am an amazing educator, which is ultimately what this job is) and make new contacts. Soon I will be earning enough to do the things I need to (rent, food, healthcare, transition) and some of the things I want (go clubbing, new ink, getting my nose pierced, clothes’ shopping, etc.) Let’s hope I have a nice even run from here on in.