This past week I have seen more whining from men upset that their beloved Daniel Tosh has been called to task, finally, for his behavior. Some say that the latest incident has been misreported and misrepresented. Assuming for a minute that is true, which I am not inclined to, where does that leave the rest of his incredibly lame act? What about encouraging men to send in videos of themselves rubbing women’s bellies without their consent? I think it is fair that given that, and even Tosh and the club manager’s representation of the events in question, that Daniel Tosh doesn’t just promote rape culture, he is rape culture.
What particularly frustrates me though is the reflexive defensiveness by so many men, including some who like to think of themselves as feminists, over this. There is a wonderful blog on Tumblr that allows women to discuss their reflections on what male privilege is. For the past week that blog has been crowded by men offended that anyone call them out or check their privilege. Some make the very weak claim that sometimes men have to deal with that garbage too.
Yes, some men do, but not all. There is not a single woman, anywhere, that can honestly say she feels reasonably safe in the company of strange men. There is not a single woman who is not judged by the way she dresses: frigid bitch if in baggy clothes or a slut if showing skin. Our culture still promotes the idea that a wife is the subordinate of the husband in thousands of subtle ways. If a man does housework, he is to be lauded, if a woman takes on a “man’s” job she is pushy or a dyke (which is itself a nasty, heterosexist position.)
I won’t contrast one against the other, because white privilege and male privilege seriously impact us all, and obviously those who do not enjoy them worse. I will compare them though, in the ways that they are alike. They are both insidious, ubiquitous and very often the root of other varieties of privilege. Both are also absolutely vicious in their attempts to keep away all challengers. This has been very obvious this past week in regards to Tosh and his defenders.
Seriously boys, no one wants to make you less than a woman, we just want everyone to finally be able to stand on the same level. No more breaks for you because you are men, and no more treating women like they exist solely for your amusement.